One hard good-bye

So this weekend, after ages, I drank quite a bit of alcohol. I got drunk to an extent that I was vomiting and passed out. I can’t remember the last part of the night. All I remember next was waking up in my friend’s flat.

I honestly have not got that drunk in ages! I have actively been staying away from alcohol for some time. I drink small amounts when I go out for meals, but that is about it.

Honestly, this experience has been an eye-opener (no pun intended). I feel embarrassed, and that feeling of what could’ve happened when I was completely out of it, gives me anxiety. I’m getting mini-panics every time I think about what others would’ve thought about me. I know these thoughts of what others think do not define the person I am, but I cannot help it can I?

I just thought to write about my thoughts and feelings. In the past 2 days, I have been doing a lot of self-reflection about what I want out of life. Alcohol is not on that list anymore. Having fun with alcohol is definitely not a priority for me. I have realized that I have so much to achieve and accomplish, and alcohol is proving to be a hindrance to that. It is slowing me down. Most importantly, it is the biggest barrier to my current spiritual growth.

I am not against alcohol at all and I will definitely have a glass of wine socially with a meal. However, drinking to get drunk and have fun is definitely not me. I’ve been there, done that. I’m turning into a different person, and I’m proud of this self-reflection and awareness of my spiritual, emotional and physical needs.

Behind this smile…

This smile holds so many secrets. Behind this smile, is endless days of exhaustion and tears; the number of days I have gone to sleep crying. I force myself to be a lot stronger than I actually am, for the fear that if I start to expose my tears, everyone/everything around me will crumble.

I always tell myself, it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to have any sort of emotion so long as we know how to process it safely and appropriately. Why do we judge ourselves so soon for any emotion we feel? Why are we so keen to label every emotion we experience? I can feel any emotion I want. After all, I am a human.

I just pray we are all kinder to each other. Judge less. Love more. Live more.

A weekend in Bath

I took a very private trip to Bath with my boyfriend this weekend.

My definition of ‘private’ is that I did not tell many people I was actually going. Not my friends, my family. I basically did not make a big fuss. My boyfriend and I wanted some alone time without the distractions of being in our ‘normal’ environments.

Honestly it was such a beautiful time. My boyfriend and I had some quality alone time where we truly got to enjoy our own company. I felt like we both spent a lot of time with each other in London (where he lives/I come from) or Birmingham (where I currently live); but we have never really taken time out to travel together, which is something we both wanted to do. Living in different cities, where both of us work on different full-time work schedules, with our side hustles, does make that much harder to sort any time to meet up, let alone plan holidays haha!

It was a miracle that we managed to find a weekend where both of us were free so we made it happen!

Bath was amazing and we are both into learning so we made the most of it. We went to the Roman Baths and spent a good half of the day taking a tour around the site – learning, discussing and teaching other what we learnt. After a beautiful lunch, we then had the best time at Thermae Bath Spa. We both needed detox time. We spent a good hours, without our phones, not taking photos, and just enjoying each other’s company relaxing, unwinding and feeling grateful about the life we had.

After the beautiful spa afternoon, we brought the evening to an end with Indian Fine dining (so our style!). We spent time talking about our peaks and pits of our day and what we were looking forward to. Our day came to an end.

Now for those who know us well, would know that my boyfriend is very into cars. As a result I have become more clued up about cars! So on our second day, we went to car showrooms and managed to test drive some cars in Bath! What an experience.

The reason I wanted to share this is because by reflecting on how much of a wonderful time we had, I am able to feel that much more grateful about the relationship I am in. From the outside, not many people understand the relationship between me and my boyfriend. We have been judged by many for numerous reasons. Nonetheless we have stood strong by each other. I am so grateful that he has been by my side no matter what others have put us through. And taking this time for us and appreciating why we love each other so much has made me more aware of how amazing of a human being he is.

Here’s a late night thought for you

With the advent of social media, the need to share every positive and negative moment of our life has become such a norm.

The question I have started to ask myself is this: ‘Is this a necessity?’

I have started to become more aware of myself and my surroundings which has meant I have become less inclined to post ‘live’. Any moments I want to keep a record of, I take a picture or video, put my phone away and then enjoy the moment.

I feel like I have recently fallen victim to the pressures of having to post every ounce of my life as it unravels.

My motto in life is whatever moments are private, are the most precious. I want to be more present and care less about posting and more about living the memories I want to create.

I do not think there is any harm in posting whatever one feels comfortable posting. The most important thing is about comfort. As I get older, I want to share less. My close family and friends will be a part of my deepest and more valuable moments and that is all I need in life.

My Morning Routine – For Increased Productivity

How well your day is going to go is very much determined by how you start your day.

My mother instilled this value into me ever since the day I remember. Therefore, I give a lot of importance to how I start my day. I really enjoy having a calm and relaxed morning. This sets the manner in which I am going to progress for the next 24 hours. For example, when I have a rushed morning, the rest of the day naturally becomes stressful and I lack motivation to complete anything. When I have a calm and productive morning, the rest of the day develops onwards and upwards!

Firstly, with my usually busy schedule of trying to balance medicine, dance and blogging commitments equally throughout the day, being organized and productive is of utmost importance to me; as a result, I like to use my mornings to plan what I need to get through for the rest of the day. Secondly, I struggle to find me-time during the day, so my mornings are the perfect time for me to really enjoy my own company and spend time with myself, and only myself.

I am going to now go into more depth about what I do in the mornings, especially as many people have asked me how I manage to balance everything and what helps with my productivity.

1) I wake up at least an hour before I have to leave for work. For example, if I need to leave at 8am, I wake up at 7am, the latest.

2) The moment I get out of bed, I make my bed. This may sound like a unimportant thing. Remember, however, that it is a task. This is the first task I perform for the day, and it is already one which helps to keep my room look and feel clutter feel. When my room looks and feels this way, I already feel more positive.

3) I then brush my teeth, shower and get ready. I usually plan my outfit the night before, so I do not need to stress out in the morning, and the process of getting ready is a lot faster as a result.

4) Once I am ready, I go straight to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. Whilst the kettle is boiling, I make sure to drink a glass of water and eat a fruit of some sort (bananas are my favourite!) – what you eat for the rest of day is also determined by what you eat in the morning, so remember to eat healthily. By this point, the kettle has boiled and I can make my tea.

5) With my tea, I go to my room/living room and open my diary to check what I have to do for the day. I edit my things-to-do list as necessary, either in my diary or my phone. I personally like to have a physical diary. You may call me old school, but it actually does help when I am able to physically write my commitments, things-to-do and deadlines. I use my phone to compliment my paper diary but I have learnt not to rely on my phone as much as I once did.

6) Once I have gone through my to-do list, I am mentally prepared for the rest of the day and know exactly what I need to achieve.

7) After this, I pick up the recent book that I am reading, I sit down and read for around 20 to 30 minutes. This time is crucial for me; and it is the only time I get during the day to read. It is my form of meditation. I forget about everything and immerse myself into the world created for me by the book.

8) Once I have had my reading session, I am nearly ready to take-on the rest of the day. All I have left to do is pack my lunch (if I am taking lunch to work), water bottle and bag. I prepare my lunch the night before in my lunch box and leave it in the fridge so I do not have to worry about it in the morning. The same applies for my water bottle and bag. This then means that I actually do not have much else to do before I leave for work.

9) Finally, with everything ready now, I just put my jacket on, take my bag and am ready for the day!

As you can probably see, I plan the order of even the smallest of things for my morning. When my morning goes smoothly, I genuinely have a lot more motivation and drive to get through all my tasks and jobs for the day. My mind is in the correct place as well to face anything the day is to bring.

A large part of my morning routine involves me being organized the night before. These changes will not happen overnight. It has taken me years of conditioning to ensure my mornings go according to my plan. Everyone’s priorities for their morning routine may be different, so I do not expect everyone to follow this. My point is, having a focused and detailed morning routine will set the tone for the rest of the day, so do not neglect your mornings!

Hope you found this useful. Please feel free to share your morning routines. Would love to hear what you guys do!

Praveena x

Materialism is TOXIC

We are the generation that is obsessed with things: clothes; make-up; cars and technology; home decoration; skin and hair-care; branded bags, watches, accessories, jewellery; ultimately ‘products’ of any sort.

We are have come together to create this world of materialism which I believe is a vicious cycle. Products and goods have taken over our lives, our way of thinking and ultimately our souls.

We are living in the age where we literally worship anything that looks beautiful, new and expensive. We take photos/videos with it, share it onto social media and feed into this materialistic world even more.

I have fallen victim to this. I have seen so many around me fall victim to this. We have been drawing attention to the clothes we wear; the cars we, or others, drive; the accessories we have; the homes we live in. Ultimately, our lives have become so much about the stuff we own or wear, than about us.

Our economy is very much built on our addiction to material possessions and I have to admit that social media has not made it any better. People get more likes when they share their ‘obsession’ with things. If we keep liking, the world of materialism will only grow more. More businesses will start throwing more products and luxurious services in our faces, which will entice our senses; we will invest more and get more obsessed and…you get the point.

Now I am not saying we need to throw everything we own away and live in a shed. No. I do believe that we have the potential to live more minimalist lives; this way we can truly tap into our souls and serve those that need it more.

Life comes to this. What is our purpose? Are we serving our purpose? Are we serving this planet in any small way that we can? The ultimate spiritual goal is to live a rich life with less stuff. Let’s come together for that.

Love,
Praveena

Cosmetic Surgery – A hindrance to self-confidence?

I had a very interesting conversation with my sister today about celebrities who have done cosmetic surgery and how it may have changed their appearance.

Celebrities have a huge following which means they have the possibility of creating huge social change a lot easier than others. Yet there are some who have fallen victim to the pressure of it all and started changing their appearance to gain more ‘acceptance’ (this may be self-acceptance and/or that from others). As a result they have added fuel to a whole new culture of cosmetic surgery. Obviously they are not the only ones responsible but they have created this notion that having certain facial features is what makes one beautiful. This, in turn, means more of the general population have resorted to such means more easily. Shouldn’t such celebrities be encouraging everyone to embrace themselves for who and how they are? I’ve seen it all being said, but again actions speak louder than words.

Everyone is entitled to have insecurities. However insecurities, in the spiritual sense, represent a bigger problem. It means one is not accepting themselves for who they are and how they look. Cosmetic surgery (unless it has a medical purpose) fixes the ‘effect’ but not the ‘cause’. We need to work on figuring out the cause of this insecurity. Surprisingly, in most cases, the ‘cause’ of this insecurity is down to ‘what others do/think’ or ‘what we define as beautiful’. If it’s a former, it shows that we are not living for ourselves but for others. If it is the latter, we need to question what made us define beauty the way we do.

Confidence is an inside job, so if we are relying on the external appearance to give us confidence, which is an internal trait, where does the problem lie?

Think about it,
Praveena

My journey to better skin

Skincare is very important for me. Now that I am older, maturer and wiser my attention to my skin is more important than ever. I have decided to share some of the things I do!

My morning routine: I cleanse my face using the Simple Foaming Cleanser; I then Simple moisturizer SPF30 mixed with the Simple hydration booster; and finally I use the Simple Age Resistant Eye Cream.

My night time routine: I remove make-up if I have worn any with the Simple cleansing wipes. I then cleanse with the foaming cleanser (mentioned above); I moisturize with aloe Vera gel at night, rather than creams/lotion.

Two to three times a week I use the all-natural Body Shop Himalayan Charcoal Mask, which was recommended to me by a friend. It is absolutely amazing. It not only leaves my skin feeling soft but trust me it has removed my black heads like magic – I have tried so many masks but this is honestly something else.

When I am at home for the whole day, and do not plan to go outdoors, I do not wear sunscreen or moisturizer. I just cleanse my face and if my skin is dry, apply aloe vera gel to cool and moisturize my skin. I believe in giving my skin time to breathe.

I have very sensitive skin which means the less products I use, the better it is for my skin. For this reason I keep my skincare routine very minimalistic and natural, but I ensure I use all the essentials and keep it consistent. The Simple brand products are the only ones which I can use daily without any problems. I decided to commence this brand products when I become a fan of their wipes. I loved how the wipes made my skin feel and look. I knew then that their products were ideal for daily usage.

The products I have mentioned have worked well for me. I cannot guarantee that it will do the same for you, because each person’s skin is different. Therefore it is important to do adequate research into each brand, their methods, their values and their ingredients, before you invest.

Lots of Love,
Praveena

Gratitude

Hello all,

I’m sat in my car, early for wedding dance rehearsals, and thought to write something.

I am grateful for life. I am grateful about every single human being who is in my life right now. I have emotional ups and downs but the people who keep me grounded and sane are the reasons why I always bounce back stronger.

Yes my mind goes astray always, but the fact that I am able to think straight at all times is because of the love and support people around me give.

I am happy about the life I am building. It is no where near complete and it will never be complete, but I am working towards something always.

I have had a recent revelation. I have started to appreciate myself so much more because if you strip away all my material possessions, I have several things that still define me. That in itself shows how hard I’ve worked ever since I remember.

I still have a long way to go, and I am going to keep pushing. The day I realised that I am more than just defined by the people I am with, or the possessions I hold, was the day I really started to appreciate how valuable I am as a human.

Always grateful for all those who have helped me get to where I am now. I pray that they always stick by me no matter what.

Lots of Love,
Praveena